Mistakes
by Emmel1118
Summary: Just a little story...


**This is a story that is probably very bad but I like so, hope you enjoy! (There is now a revised ending because I hated the first one) **

(Jac's texts are in _italics_ and Joseph's are in **bold**.)

"Daddy, the nightmares came again. Can I come in your bed?" Harry whispered into the dark bedroom. Unbeknownst to him, Joseph was already awake; he hadn't fallen asleep all night. "Come on, Harry." He called. He knew that Harry was too old to share the bed with him but he was lonely, even with the woman next to him in the bed. Night was the time when the memories came back; the memories of _her_.

She tossed and turned, but she still couldn't find a comfortable position to lie in. She gave up, she couldn't sleep. She'd had a nightmare and she could never sleep after nightmares, even now; even when she knew the terrors that inhabited her dreams weren't going to come true. She closed her eyes and there he was; the man her nightmare had been about, the man who haunted her dreams. Even though she was sharing a bed with another man, she couldn't let go of the past completely and move on.

He looked over at Harry, his little boy was asleep, and he was lucky; he could sleep easily. When, or even if, he fell asleep his nights would be full of terrible dreams or even worse were the dreams full of happiness because then when he woke up in the morning the truth was even more awful; he had to live without her. He could almost forget about her in the day but at night it all came back to him. He picked up his phone from the table beside the bed and opened the camera feature and before he could stop himself he took a picture of Harry. He was reminded of something she had said in the past, the day after Harry's birth. He smiled and opened a text. He didn't know why, after all these years, he was doing this but it didn't matter he was. He put the picture in the text and then typed twelve words. '**He can sleep but I can't. Still think he looks like Churchill?'** He took a deep breath, found her number and pressed send.

She was staring at the photo she was grasping in her hand, when her phone went off. She grabbed it quickly so it didn't wake Johnny. She gasped when she saw who the text was from. Her hand were shaking when she open the text. She smiled as she read it. She replied.

'_Why?' _

'**Why, what?'**

'_It's been five years.'_

'**I missed you.' **

'_No! I will not say goodbye again.'_

'**I don't want to hurt you but I can't go on like this.'**

'_Like what?'_

'**Kidding myself that I'm able to move on.'**

'_How do you know I haven't moved on?"_

'**You told me you love me. Come on, Jac, put your walls down, it's me.'**

'_Have you?'_

'**I've been trying. I've got a girlfriend. Her name is Ali.'**

'_Do you love her?'_

'**If I didn't love you, it would be easy to fall in love with her but…'**

'_There's someone.'_

'**What do you mean?"**

'_I live with him.'_

'**Do you love him?'**

'_No. I can't.'_

'**Does he know why?'**

'_No, but he's heard the rumours. I work with him.'_

'**What rumours?'**

'_About us.'_

'**Has he asked you about me?'**

'_I can't talk about you, it hurts so much. I regret it you know, passing up my one shot at happiness.'_

'**Why did you?'**

'_I was scared.'_

'**I'm sorry for making you choose.'**

'_Don't be, it was my mistake.'_

'**What are we going to do?'**

'_I don't know.'_

'**I want to go back, but I don't want to hurt Ali.'**

'_We've messed this up good and proper, haven't we?'_

'**Yes, we have haven't we?'**

'_All I know is; I love you.'_

'**I love you, and always will. I've tried to stop before, remember?'**

'_Yes, can I come and see you? I need to see you.'_

'**We could talk about it face to face, and sort out this mess.'**

'_Maybe the mess is too big? Maybe you're better off with Ali.'_

'**Do you really think that, or is it a defence so you don't get hurt again?'**

'_I can't just let you back in.'_

'**Why not?'**

'_Because you might be different from the man I fell in love with.'_

'**I'm not.'**

'_How do I know you're not lying?'_

'**Because you fell in love with me.'**

'_You might hurt me. Leave again.'_

'**I would never hurt you, Jac. If I came back I would never leave.'**

'_I know but what scares me more is I might hurt you; I couldn't cope if I did that.'_

'**In your heart you know you won't.'**

'_I don't want to but I don't trust myself not to muck it up.'_

'**You won't, I trust you. You are so different from the woman who hurt me, you've changed.'**

'_What if I haven't changed enough? I couldn't cope with you not loving me, after the past after all that was said. I have hardly cope all these years. I need you, to tell me it alright.'_

'**It's all alright, it's all alright darling.'**

'_Thank you.'_

'**I miss you, Jac. It's simple, I love you and I can't live without you.'**

'_What about Ali and Johnny? I don't want to hurt them, I have changed: you changed me. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. _

'**You have changed.'**

'_I've also learnt that you don't get what you want through blocking out all emotions, you have to feel and that's alright. It's better than blocking them out and then collapsing when it all gets too much. You taught me that, don't get me wrong I still scare the wits out of F1's I still have a reputation and I don't suffer fools gladly but I feel now and that's all down to you. I need to know if coming back will make you happy, because if she makes you happier then I will stand aside and be alright. I just need to know okay?'_

'**You are my soul mate, the love of my life; changed or not. Nothing had changed, is that okay?'**

'_Can I come and see you?'_

'**Yes, can you come down on Saturday?'**

'_Yes. I'm scared.'_

'**Why?'**

'_What if I'm not good enough?'_

'**Jac, you will always be good enough.'**

'_Thank you.'_

'**For what?'**

'_Teaching me how to love. I'll come down on the train. Should I bring Johnny? We could explain?'_

'**I don't know. Ali will be there, bring Johnny then. We'll speak together, alone and then tell them what we've decided to do. We'll tell them the truth.'**

'_Goodbye.'_

'**No goodbyes, Jac. See you on Saturday. :)'**

'_Smiley face? Really? See you soon. Have a good night.'_

The both went to sleep that night content.

Saturday

Joseph was anxiously sitting at the table, wringing his hands out. "What is it, Joseph?" Ali asked. He looked up at her, and stared her in the eye. "Someone's coming. From my past. Someone I…" He trailed off. "You'll find out, and when you do please don't be angry." Confusion swept over her face. "What the hell are you going on about?" She said. "Tell me it's a joke." He shook his head. "I'm sorry."

She arrived twenty minutes later, every bit as anxious as him. Johnny was still in the dark about the real reason that there were there for. He had been told they were going to visit someone. It was the truth, but not the whole truth. She raised her fist, swallowed and knocked. A tall, blonde, blue eyed woman came to the door. "Hello. You are?" She asked bluntly. "She's for me, Ali." Joseph voice cam floating over the woman, Ali's, shoulders. It put her at ease as she studied the woman who was now Joseph's girlfriend. "Come in then." She did and was shocked by how similar it looked to Joseph's old house in Holby. "Joseph." She called. "This is Johnny." She told him. "Do you mind if I make myself a coffee?" Jac asked. "I don't mind." He replied. "Wait you don't know…" He trailed off as she opened the draw that the coffee was in. "Same thing in the same place." She said shrugging. "I did live with you." She whispered.

Five minutes later and they were sitting around the dining table chatting. "Ali, Johnny could you give us some privacy, please?" Joseph asked. They both nodded and wandered out of the room. They were left alone. He had to resist the urge to kiss her there and then. "So…" He started, but he was stopped by lips on his own, obviously she'd had the same thought. "I just had too. It's been too long." She said, her cheeks slowly going red. "How old is Harry, now?" She asked. "Five, he started primary school six months ago." Jac nodded. "We can come back. I've been having a bit of re-training as a surgeon. It would take another six months but then I can apply for a job at Holby. Work with you again, be with you again. You want to do that?" Jac nodded. She stood up and so did he and he enveloped her in a hug, just as Ali walked in. "Am I interrupting anything?" Ali asked cautiously. "No, come and sit down we need to talk. Johnny can come in to." They both came in and sat down. "I met Jac a long time ago, ten years or something silly like that. I never believed in love at first sight, but the first moment I saw Jac I fell in love with her. I can't stop the way I feel; besides I have tried to fall out of love with her before. It doesn't work, I'm sorry but I love her." Joseph announced and they gaze then fell on Jac. "I love him. That's enough isn't it?" She said, clearly. "I didn't think you were capable of love, Jac." Johnny said, seriously. "That's because when you met me I had already fallen in love with him, and we hadn't meant to but we had both broken each other's hearts." Ali looked up and stared at Jac. "You've been having an affair then?" Joseph shook his head. "Before we came here five years ago, me and Jac were a couple. I asked her to come and she said no. I left and it broke my heart but it had to be done. Last night, I texted her and we had a long discussion, because I can't stay away from her for much longer. I'm sorry, I tried to move on but as always I've come back to her." They looked on and then Ali spoke. "Is she Harry's mother? You never talk about her, if it's not her then who is it?" Joseph look at Jac, and smiled a sad smile. "Jac isn't Harry's mum, Faye is." Ali still looked confused. "Who's Faye, where is she?" Ali asked. "Faye is my ex-wife and she was sectioned and I don't know where she now. Okay with that?" He said, slowly, not wanting to remember. Joseph reached out his hand and took Jac's in his own.

It was six years to the day since the conversation in the dining room. Jac was sitting on a park bench, staring at the sky. "Jac, Jac?" Came the call. She looked up and saw Joseph walking down the path, holding Harry's hand. "How did you're first day at secondary school go, then Harry?" Harry nodded, as Jac hugged him. "How was work, Jac?" Harry asked her. "I've already asked Dad but I want hear about it again. She started recounting what had happen during the day at Holby City Hospital. When she had finished , Harry looked up at her in amazement. "You're amazing Jac, you save lives." He said in the tone of amazement that only a child can do. Harry bounded off and they shared a brief kiss as the continued walking down the path. Jac fiddled with the two rings on her finger, still getting used to the second one. "So how was your first day back at work after the best honeymoon ever?" Joseph asked her. "Well you should know, Joseph, we work in the same hospital at the same time." They both laughed as they walked away. Finally happy.

**There I wrote a better ending! Whoo! I like this one better than the first one, a lot**_**.**_


End file.
